Thursday, June 01, 2006
Last month Chris's live-in girlfriend moves out with no warning; left a note saying "I'm not happy". She owned the only car between the two of them and he needed a way to get to and from work. We offered to give him our 2nd car, free of charge; his only responsibility would be to get insurance on it. But, he finds a car that he absolutely had to have, even if it meant selling his soul to get it. Not one that's affordable, oh, no, he has to get a souped up sports car.
Last month Chris's live-in girlfriend moves out with no warning; left a note saying "I'm not happy". She owned the only car between the two of them and he needed a way to get to and from work. We offered to give him our 2nd car, free of charge; his only responsibility would be to get insurance on it. But, he finds a car that he absolutely had to have, even if it meant selling his soul to get it. Not one that's affordable, oh, no, he has to get a souped up sports car.
One problem. A few years back he had to go to the emergency room, and, for one reason or another, didn't find it necessary to pay the bill. I've been giving him lectures on how important a credit rating is, but, of course, there was no reason to listen to me. I'm just the mom who harps on him all the time. Here comes mom to the rescue yet one more time. I pay off his hospital bill with the understanding that "AS SOON" as he gets his damage deposit back from his rental house he was forced to move out of because he couldn't afford it by himself (which I paid for 2 years ago), he would give it to me and pay off the rest of the $1133.00 bill in payments.
Still his credit habits really suck so the bank wants a joint buyer on the loan. I convince my husband that this kid has grown up and will do the right thing, so hubby agrees to let our credit be used for this new car. Well over a week ago he told me he got the damage deposit back. I asked him to send it to my paypal address. I wait and wait; I send him a reminder; I call his girlfriend (yeah, they're back together) and tell her to give him the message that I'm waiting for the money. Today he calls me. Gee, he had some bills to pay and will give me $400.00 on the 8th? WTF???? Normally, this probably wouldn't of bothered me, but I put that hospital bill on my credit card which I am trying to get paid off so that I can get a new kitchen. He knew how important it was that I get that money right away. This month is bad for us; we have extra medical bills and a few extra bills have come due that we weren't expecting. My husband does not know about that hospital bill, and now I have to find a way to explain to him why there isn't enough money to pay our bills this month. This is the one child of mine that could of been a millionaire but instead has chosen to spend his time and money on video games (that's another posting). How many times can I pull him out of the hole before I jump into it myself?
1 comment:
Your pain and sadness comes through in your writing and I am sorry for it. You did the best job you could raising your children and you made sacrifices along the way. I am sure you were not a perfect Mother but no one is. Again you did the best job you could.
Life is about choices. Some people make good ones, some don't. Your children are grown. They are making choices every day about whether to contact you, whether to buy video games instead of necessities etc. It is time for you to make a choice. You can continue to try and have relationships with ungrateful people. You can continue to give money you don't have with the hope that "this one last time will help them straighten out their life...". OR You can make a choice to let all this go. I am not saying give up on your relationships with your children I am saying accept the fact that they are adults and made ALL the choices that have brought them to this place in there lives. Let it go and enjoy the life you have now and stop trying to fix the past.
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