MY HEART BREAKS

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Chris brought Kairi down for a short visit and to help Ken move a heavy piece of equipment.

A month ago or so when Chris was here he got on the computer and I saw that he was doing a search on myspace.com for Jamie. I asked him if Jamie had a myspace account, he said "no". After he left I did a search of my own and I found she does have one.

I watched it intently for weeks and something was just not right. She has a list of friends and the ones that are dating someone steadily or engaged to married always talk about the boyfriends'/fiances', etc...They sound deliriously happy. The first thing I noticed is that Jamie didn't talk at all about Chris or the upcoming wedding. Last week she posted a blog really going off about Chris being irresponsible, thinking only of himself, being a pig, etc... Ok, the part about him being a pig is true, but the other rants stunned me.

Today when Chris arrived at the house, I asked him how he and Jamie were; he said "fine". I told him to tell me the truth because I already knew. He finally told me that they aren't getting along very well, that she has changed. She has started to drink more and more, changed her style of music, doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything with him, and he found two pictures of her old boyfriend. Last time she left him, she had changed her email password to her old boyfriend's name.

I asked him if he had seen her myspace account and he said "yes", but when I pulled it up for him, his eyes welled up with tears as he sat there reading it. It was like he was seeing it for the first time, and I think he was.We gave him a little bit of advice, but, we knew that nothing we could say would make him stop hurting. Shortly afterwards, he left, saying he had to go talk to Jamie.

I hate seeing my son hurt, I hate Jamie for hurting my son, and I hate myself because I can't do anything about it.