FINISHED

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Many years ago, my husband and I divorced. One day my daughter came to me after a visit with her dad and told me how lonely he was, and that she would like to go live with him so he would have some company. I thought that was a wonderful gesture on her part, and I allowed it and the two boys remained with me.

Shortly after that, I decided to move to another state. The boys did not want to up and move in the middle of the school year, so they, too went to live with their dad and they would join me at the end of the school year (which they did). When Michelle was 15, she was inducted into the National Honor Society. (read the first paragraph of "Mother's Day, 2006" for the full story.I spent years trying to find her, to talk to her, to get any information about her I could, all to no avail. All I really wanted was an explanation as to why she blocked me out of her life.

Knowing she wouldn't talk to me, but she would certainly talk to Chris, I put an ad on the Internet using Christopher's name. She found the ad and responded and for a short time we emailed back and forth, with her thinking I was Chris. I, as Chris, convinced her to contact me, which she did and we slowly started to get to know each other again. I went to Chris and Jamie's house shortly after that and told them what had transpired. Being parents themselves, they understood how a mother could get desperate not knowing where her daughter was. I asked for their forgiveness and was told by them that there was no need to apologize, that their love for me was unconditional, and I had not done anything so deceitful that anyone got hurt.

I asked them not to tell Michelle. I felt that was something I needed to do myself, but I thought it should be done in person. I was hoping that she would come down here for a visit and by that time we would be a little more comfortable with each other, and I planned on sitting down with her alone to explain what happened.

As you know, Chris and Jamie went to Minnesota for Chris's grandmother's funeral. They stayed with Michelle at her house and they betrayed me. The following is a copy of an email I received from Michelle today. I would really like people's opinion. Was what I did really that horrible? I'm still in shock.

"I was recently informed that it was you who placed the ad on the Internet to find Dale and myself and not Chris or Jamie like you claimed. And that you wrote to me impersonating Chris and Jamie from an email address that you created with Chris’ name. You have no right get mad at anyone but yourself for being dishonest. I can’t trust you and I don’t want a relationship with you. You and I, we are finished. Forever. Do not contact me; I will not respond."

I did answer her one last time: "You have a serious problem if you can't understand the desperation a mother goes through when she goes for 16 years not knowing if her daughter is alive, dead, married, divorced, sick, etc... A person with that cold of a heart does not know anything about unconditional love. Hell, I'd tried everything else, I was desperate and turned to a tiny deceitful trick. I would of told Chris and Jamie immediately, but felt I should do it in person, so I had to wait a few weeks before I was able to make it up to their house. You had a right to know too, and I felt the same; you deserved to hear my explanation face to face. Chris and Jamie understood why I did it and they were fine with it. Hey, it brought you to us. I made the mistake of mailing your birthday card before I read your email. When it arrives, just rip it up like you've done to my heart for the past 16 years. It is nice to know though, that you are so perfect and have never done anything wrong, but with good intentions. I was the one that should of been angry at you for just cutting me off with no explanation 16 years ago; you were the one that should of been apologizing to me. But, perfect people don't have to apologize, do they? All their problems are someone else's fault. I do love you, Michelle, but, seeing the type of person you have turned out to be, I will gladly honor your request. I'm surprised that someone with your education and life experiences, has turned out to be such a cold hearted, selfish person. My new motto is: "Be careful what you wish for; it just might come true".